Despite the fact that I have much to say about my current state of affairs, the post I’m most inspired to write is a tangential one.
I tend to run with people who love to travel. I suppose that isn’t too hard to do, as most people enjoy the exoticism of hopping on a plane and leaving the world behind for a few days or a week. I can’t say if my friends travel more than most, I just know that several of my close friends make it a point to take at least one big trip a year, sometimes to far flung places like Thailand and Australia. I have an uncle who I’ve always known for traveling, and he is making his way across the globe in a lifetime of trips, thoroughly exploring Europe, then South America, now Asia.
I love traveling too. There is something inexplicably fascinating and freeing about standing in a city you’ve only seen on a map before, or in pictures. Exploring the hidden corners that never make it to tourist books gives me a real sense of adventure, something that I think is hard to come by in this day and age. Continue reading
So my fiance posted about the end of his bachelor-hood, as I am moving to England in one (1) week and we are both rather stunned by the fact that after a year plus all this long distance bs becomes a thing of the past. He seems to think many other things are going to become a thing of the past, and you can read the original list here. But as I read this, I think he needs some reassurance/ reality checks. So, my response:
My (fiance’s) bachelor bucket list.
- Wake up when I want to. —One of the reasons I’m marrying you is that we’re both not morning people. This in my estimation will give us a whole heap of marital accord.
- Announce the morning with a bottom bugle call. –Ok, yes, that’s got to go. At least doing it under the covers does. I don’t want the poison gas on me! It’s my fear of nuclear fallout.
- Have a wash without searching through all the girly soaps and creams.–Maybe some of them would do you good. Everyone could use some pores unblocked.
- Be able to use the shower without knocking over a hundred kinds of shampoo and conditioner. –If you let me get a shower organizer, everything would be…wait for it…organized. 😛
- Spend an hour on the toilet reading. –Maybe that’s not a bad idea because it gives the smell particles a chance to die.
- Be able to use the toilet when I want (as there is nobody sat on it reading). —How I Met Your Mother wisely pointed out that if you’re not reading, it’s just lost time.
- Leave the toilet seat lid up (every time I go in there I have to lift the lid up, how many times do we men have to tell you). –At least you don’t run the danger of having your butt dunked in the toilet! That’s why we win. Also, should I be concerned that quite a few of these are toilet related, or is that just living with boys? I’ve never lived with a boy before to know…
- Sit on the sofa and switch the sport on without worrying that we were meant to go out for cushions. –You already have cushions…we don’t need any more. Although come on–would you turn down a trip for Ikea meatballs? I didn’t think so. This is the plus of being in a couple. More meatballs.
- Sit and watch sport without being told “what more sport” as I proceed to watch cricket/rugby/football/F1/tennis/Tour De France/Ryder Cup etc. –Admittedly I do have a sports limit, but it’s higher than you think…
- Eat nothing but meats and starch, and only using tomato sauce as part of my five a day. –We can do that on pizza night… Also curry night. Once a week.
- Play computer games while watching sport. –Play away! But you know, maybe you could acknowledge my presence once or twice over the course of such an evening.
- Not be questioned over the revealing outfits female characters wear in most games. If I was looking for a high brow discussion on modern post feminism I would watch Loose Women and not play Mass Effect. –I would treat you to my feminist rant here, but that would just mean spoilers for later on. You gotta keep some mystery alive sometimes.
- Watch TV shows without explaining every situation, especially if the question is due to be answered in 30 seconds. –What? I never do that! Not ever. Never. Besides which, how do I know the answer is going to come in 30 seconds if I’ve never seen the thing before. Exactly.
- Write a blog post. –Write away! If I tried to put any caps on writing in our household, that would put me in serious trouble.
- Not keep my phone on waiting for a Skype call. –Word. And not having to deal with the vagaries of internet video chat, and being able to use non verbal communication for once… Oooh, and being in the same time zone so that our window to talk isn’t three hours long exactly.
- Do the clothes washing on the same setting for everything. –You will know and love your delicates cycle. But you’ll also appreciate the things which need to be washed on the delicates cycle too, so it evens out in the end, really. Also, someone else will do the washing like, 20% of the time. That’s 20% more time for you.
- Iron everything on the same heat. –See above.
- Organise everything in the flat how I like. Whether its books, DVDs or remote controls. –No lie, this is a bit unnerving to me too. How do people merge their stuff and sense of spatial order? Is there a manual? There should be a manual. But you can be librarian still and always.
- Own the remote control. –That is the end of an era. You can watch your sport, but be prepared for some Downton Abbey in the evening.
- Go to bed when I’m tired. –This makes me think you think I’ll tie you to a chair and force you to watch an entire season of Downton Abbey in one night. As long as you don’t make me go to bed with you, I’m fine. Then I can watch Bridezillas streamed from America until two in the morning.
- Sleep in the middle of the bed and have all the duvet. –Steal the duvet and I will put my cold toes on you in retaliation.
- Keep the windows and doors closed to stop the pollen/vampires getting in. –Not generally a problem, except on hot nights. Could I postulate a theory that vampires melt in the heat? Probably not–damn you Bon Temps, for refuting my theory.
- Snore. –I think you underestimate how heavily I can sleep.
But there are some things I’ll be missing too. For example:
- I don’t think my ginormous Prince Caspian poster (complete with Ben Barnes pointing his sword right at me) will ever grace my walls again.
- I will have to hear complaints about the number of bad reality tv shows I can watch, and the amount of times I can watch a sitcom rerun.
- Farewell to the incomparable freedom of an open bathroom door.
- No more dinners of candy bars and fruit (to make it healthy).
- No more falling asleep on the couch at nine and staggering to bed at two.
- No more sampling four different kinds of moisturizer at any given time.
- I will have to put my shoes away. And also probably my purse. Even when I like it’s place ‘near the middle of the floor’ so much.
- I’ll also probably have to explain why I have so many shoes. It’s less than I used to have is an argument that probably wouldn’t make sense to a guy.
But then we both get:
- Someone to come home to every night
- Someone to go out with when we’re bored
- Someone to make fun of stupid movies with
- Someone to make a cup of tea when we’ve had a bad day/ are too tired to get out of bed/ just don’t want to do it ourselves
- Someone to do a chore we just couldn’t bring ourselves to do
- For me, someone to kill bugs
- For you, someone to sew buttons
- Someone to frequent Ikea and eat meatballs with
- Someone to travel with
- Someone to be loved up with.
It’s obvious which side the scale tips to.